playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
