just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
