ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Boobs speak an international language.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
