It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
