I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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