Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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