dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
