So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
