Farmville is her only friend.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
