Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
