I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
