If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
