Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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