i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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