Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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