Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize
