I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
