You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
