areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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