Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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