So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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