Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
