I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
