You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
