Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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