would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
