I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
