Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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