p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
