There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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