used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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