me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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