He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
