Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
