I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
