office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
