if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
