let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
