seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
