the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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