I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
we should paint friendship bongs
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
