I wanna bring you to show and tell
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
