we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
