how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
