They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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