I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
