Your tits are I can't wait for
where am i from again
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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