need another drink. this is the easiest way
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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