so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
