theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
