After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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