remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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